A few weeks ago my now ex soldier came home from being gone for 8 months. He was my dom to which I had a lot of mixed feelings about. The more I thought the relationship though, the less I trusted and respected him. I couldn’t express this to him because he wasn’t here. I knew when he came home we would end but not the way I expected… When I went to his place to talk to him about us, the situation unfolded quickly and not as planned. I won’t give details but as I was fighting against him to get free, I realized him for who he really is..
I saw it in his eyes… he isn’t a dom, he is a predator… It’s the power he feeds on, the struggle, the fear… I looked into his eyes and it wasn’t the man that had left months before.
Because of this… I am scared to trust someone that way. I know I can’t base my idea of a dom by how he treated me and I know one day I will be about to trust again… But for now, closing that part of me is what I need..
I’ve had a lot of trama in the past few years… I have to focus on myself and let go before I can give myself as a sub. One day…